Fudge Urban Hair Art Review

My days of dying my hair is over as my hair is in such a great condition that I don't want to ruin it, that doesn't mean I don't want to not try out new amazing colours though. So I was very happy to see a spray in hair chalk that is super easy to use and had some amazing colours to pick from.

Life With Depression

I've been open about having anxiety before but never to open about my Depression which still affects me to this day. I was diagnosed with stress, anxiety and depression when I was 15 years old and now that I'm 25 it's still with me and still effects me. I was extremely ill when I was 15 up until around 17 and I wanted to share what happened, how I overcome it and also why I still have it.

So it started at 15 when I would feel really awful about myself and I felt like I was worthless, no one liked me and no one wanted me to be here. This was untrue I had friends, family who loved me and I was not worthless, however my mind told me I was and I believed it. TRIGGER WARNING I began to self harm which was me cutting my arms to the point where I began to enjoy it, I liked the feeling of cutting my skin and didn't want to stop due to enjoying it.

At 16 after hating myself for a year something major happened which effects me badly to this day, I was in school and something changed it was like a switch went in my brain and I couldn't breath everything went funny and I went lightheaded before almost being sick, I thought I was going to pass out and thought I was having a heart attack, this was the start of my panic attacks.

I had this so bad I was pulled from school and to this day I hate them, I can't go near a school and I can never go in one. This made me go silent and not talk to anyone my mum noticed right away and took me to the doctors, I was placed on anti depressants and this was the start of getting better. I was told to go to counselling and I started to smile more and feel like I was suppose to be here.

This carried on for several years I would be happy and then awfully sad. I would go on tablets and then off them, I would cut and then heal again. It was a never ending cycle of hating myself then being so happy, it confused people which made me feel odd.

I learnt to hide it and learnt to make myself happy to keep people from asking questions, I kept up with my doctors appointments and one day I realised I was no longer faking being happy, I was actually happy. I had nice friends, a good job, a loving family and also hobbies which made me happy and I suddenly stopped taking tablets, stopped speaking to doctors and stopped hurting myself.

I want to end this post saying I'm better but I can't as I don't want to lie, I get low all the time and get restless, worried, my anxiety fits back, I panic, I don't talk and I hate myself but I always pull through knowing it's only going to last a few days. Family notice and always give me space, friends take note and always reassure me it's going to be fine, this works for me and I'm so grateful for that.

To keep myself from going back to being ill I always keep myself busy, writing a blog helps and also travelling helps me a lot. I keep busy and take the time I need to heal and rest before going back to life again, it's important to do this just to restart,

If you have been affected by this post you can email me directly at jessb1991@gmail.com you can go to this website here, thank you x

The London Tea Company

I'm a big tea lover and drink almost all types of tea but one brand has really stuck out for me and that is The London Tea company, I first saw of this brand in a Bloggers event where I was given a tin of there tea as well as some handy sachets of tea bags.

Avon True Colour Eyeshadow Warm Cashmere

I'm never one to make a fuss over eye products as I have the worse eyes ever, with almond shaped eyes it's very hard to find the right products to suit my eyes. However I loved this eye shadow duo and wanted to try it out on my eyes to see if it was any good, I was pleasantly surprised to see how well it blended and suited my eyes as well as how well it stayed put.

Oh So Good Chocolate

Being on a diet means you have to cut out most fatty foods which includes chocolate, I don't have a massive sweet tooth but every now and then I do enjoy a small amount of chocolate. I went looking for some and came across the brand Oh So Good Chocolate, I had never seen the brand before and was excited to see it was low in calories and quite affordable at just £2.99 on offer in Boots.

Maybelline Dream Matte Mouse

When you say Dream Matte Mouse it takes you back to your teens years and reminds you of the 2000's, however I've made the decision to re purchase the foundation due to being let down from so many other brands in the past. I used this foundation for at least two years before switching to a handful of foundations that didn't suit me well as all!

Avon Super Extend Liquid Eye Liner

I don't tend to wear much eyeliner as I never seem to get it right or it always smudges leaving me looking odd, however I wanted to try out the Avon liquid eyeliner as I had heard some great things about it.

Soap and Glory Make Yourself Youthful CC Fluid

I was after a foundation which looked good in photos at giving me a youthful and carefree complexion, so after doing my research I settled on buying the Soap and Glory CC fluid which was on offer at my local Boots.

Witch Naturally Clear Blemish Stick

I will never say no to trying out a new spot product so I was happy to see a Witch Blemish Stick reduced to clear in my local Superdrug, it was the special edition Marie Curie design which comes in a really cute packaged design that is girly and pretty to use.

Music Review - J Gatsby

A bit of a different post for you today, I've been wanting to do another music review for a while now but I was waiting for the right artist to come along then of course I found J Gatsby! I first discovered him in the popular vlog channel Dudesons Vlog , his fun and kind personality makes it hard to not like him but his quick wit and on the spot rapping makes it hard to not love him!